


Fake It

by Dance_Elle_Dance



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Tag: The Power of Madonna, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dance_Elle_Dance/pseuds/Dance_Elle_Dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You didn't have a good time?" Finn was silent at Santana's question. Then, she said, "It's because of the Streisand wannabe, right?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fake It

**Author's Note:**

> Re-post of a FinnRachel, FinnSantana fanfic I did back in the day. Please enjoy!

Finn doesn't think it's ever been so quiet in his life.

Santana sat next to him, her hands folded over the sheet that covered her body, her face an unreadable mask.

The silence is suffocating

A millions thoughts race through his head - of what they had just done. Of the repercussions of it all.

_Was he that bad? Is that why she wasn't saying anything?_

_Did he even do it right?_

_Why wasn't she saying anything!_

_Stupid, so stupid! I should have listened more when Puck was talking about…_

Trailing off, he felt his thoughts rest on one, single person.

_Rachel._

Her name came out of no where, surprising him and almost causing him to gasp. But he caught himself. That would be a very odd thing to do in their current situation. Nonetheless, he was shocked - but not really - that the first name that would come into his head was that of the perky diva that he really had his heart set on.

He closed his eyes and leaned back, almost knocking his head on the headboard of the bed. Santana didn't move when she heard his grunt in pain. She just sat there, staring out into space.

_I must have really not known what I was doing,_ Finn thought in a melancholy state, his eyes now trained on the ceiling above, making out various patterns and whatnot.

The embarrassment, coupled with the fact that he had just swiped his V-card with someone that didn't care about him and, frankly, he didn't care about either, was almost enough to crush him, but he didn't do such a thing.

All he did was stare at the ceiling.

Maybe it wasn't even the fact that he felt inadequate, but the fact that…he didn't feel anything.

Of course it had felt pleasurable during the whole scheme of things, but there wasn't that spark where Rachel was concerned.

Or maybe he was just _that bad._

Finn winced, as if he had been physically assaulted by that thought - sometimes, that's what he felt like when he thought like this.

He wondered what was going through his partner's head - even then, he felt giving her the moniker of "partner" was a bit strange. But he wondered nonetheless. He thought maybe she was thinking of Brittany. Those two seemed to like each other an awful lot. Maybe she was thinking of the blonde like he was thinking of Rachel.

Again, Rachel's name raced across his mind like a rogue comet, stunning him.

But, right about now, wouldn't she be in Jesse's arms?

He wondered if she would be thinking of him in that situation. Finn knew it was selfish to think that way, but he couldn't help himself. He really liked Rachel and all her bat-shit crazy antics.

He could tell himself that it didn't matter.

He could tell himself that he was okay with losing the Big V to a CheeriO with another agenda - said agenda being a ditzy blonde who thought dolphins were gay sharks - but he knew he'd be lying.

He knew he was lying because it had felt _wrong._

Despite what Quinn would say when they were dating, what they did never felt wrong because he had had genuine feelings for her.

And, despite everything that had gone down in the past few days, he still had feelings for Rachel. Feelings that he couldn't keep under wraps. Feelings that he wasn't sure that he could deny for much longer.

He sighed, and the sound was a heavy, weighted thing.

Santana turned her head and said to him, "You didn't have fun?"

It was quiet. Finn had nothing else to say.

With an aggravated sigh, Santana asked, "It's because of the Streisand wannabe, right?"

"I-I…" Finn stumbled over his words. "I had a great time, Santana, it's not that…"

"Then?"

"It felt wrong…to do that to her."

"Isn't she dating that Jesse guy?" Santana pointedly said, her eyes cutting into him. Finn still didn't look in her direction. "So why should you care what you do? Why should you care if it feels wrong?"

Instead of answering her question - she had brought up a rather good point there - he responded with one of his own, "Don't you feel wrong?"

"Nope. It was actually quite nice, compared to what I've been subjected to," the dark haired girl said, tossing some of the silky strands over her shoulder. "For your first time, it wasn't bad."

_Whew._ There went the load off of his back.

"But you could do better. Ask Puck, he - "

"No!" Finn shouted, his face turning red for whatever reason.

It was quiet after that, with Santana's quiet snickering the only thing that greeted him. Then, he reiterated his original query, "But…because of Brittany, don't you feel wrong?"

Suddenly, her eyes hardened and her lips rearranged into a wry smirk, but she said nothing.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Her sharp, dark eyes looked over at Finn, and her biting words cut him, "If you were paying attention, _nothing_ with _me_ feels wrong."

Santana crossed her arms beneath her breasts and looked at him with cold eyes. Finn felt sheepish underneath her gaze and he sighed, moving his hand to play with a stray thread on the comforter.

There was a sudden warmth that covered his hand.

"Listen," Santana started, unsure and Finn could swear he saw a blush coat her cheeks. Her fingers clenched his. "I'm not the mushy type, but if you truly love that girl, you shouldn't be spending your night with me. You should be figuring out how to steal her away from that hoity toity Jesse St. Jackass."

Finn had to hide his snicker at the girl's comment and he felt her fingers curl around his hand tighter.

"But if she's happy…"

"She'd be happier with you."

The silence that followed was endless, filled with so many unsaid words.

Then, feeling the pressure on him, Finn replied, "And I know that Brittany would be happier with you."

Santana scoffed, but Finn knew he had made her happy, by the way her cheeks colored and her eyes brightened. "You're such a _girl_."

Her statement seemed to stretch out in front of the two, leading them into comfortable silence. Leaving Santana with her thoughts, and Finn with his.

Rachel was the dominant thought, and he imagined how she would feel underneath his fingertips if they ever made love. He imagined her bright eyes, full lips, lustrous hair. But then it moved in a completely different direction. His thoughts focused on something other than the physical act, but the many things he loved about her.

_Loved?_ Finn thought, and then he sighed, because he knew it was true. He knew he was head over heels for that girl, and he didn't want to lie to himself anymore.

So, with Santana's hand around his own in a gesture of friendship, he let his eyes close peacefully.

And behind sleepy lids, he dreamed of Rachel Berry.


End file.
